Tuesday, October 05, 2004

How Many Ways To Mock Thee, Kerry?

Today’s post kicks off a two-part series on Internet Flash cartoons and games on party websites.

If you were an alien from another world – and no one’s saying you’re not – you might be confused by the immediate visual cues of the Republican National Committee website. For starters, almost every picture on the front page is of John Kerry. To be clear, John Kerry is not a member of the Republican party, at least not last time Lightspin checked.

Only someone with a heart of stone would raise your taxes.
Screenshot from Taxinvaders. Copyright 2004 GOP.

This fact becomes apparent when you go to the site’s so-called Kerry Corner, a page dedicated to exuberantly trashing the Democrat candidate. Among the articles and videos on Senator Kerry's alleged "flip-flops," or reversals of his positions on controversial issues, there are games about John Kerry that do the same.

Lightspin chose three of these games that attack Kerry from three different angles using three different game styles.

In Kerryopoly the game begins with $40,000, which the game's creators claim is the "national household average" income. Click on the illustrations of dice, and you land on spaces - lands in the traditional Monopoly, detailing Kerry’s expenses. Haircuts, motorcycles, and even the dreaded gas tax are among the expenses. The more luxuries and taxes Kerry shamelessly indulges in, the more the poor, average American loses out. Well, that is what the game's creators are trying to say. The point of the game is to show Kerry as a rich spendthrift, out of touch with the average American.

But, to turn to commentary, so what? Bush owned a friggin’ baseball team. I’m sure the Bush family does not have to decide between groceries or paying the gas bill. To use an old – but good – cliché; the pot is calling the kettle black.

This blogger will go out on a limb and say that someone's personal purchases within their own means does not mean that they are either unfit to run a country or are out of touch with people. Hell, if this blogger had either candidate’s money, he’d own multiple houses, too. That isn’t a crime. There is no evidence that Kerry’s spending means he has no regard for lower-income families.

In Taxinvaders, you, too, can stop John Kerry from raising taxes - by shooting lasers from the top of George W. Bush’s head. "Save the U.S.A from John Kerry’s tax ideas," the game's directions exhort.

This is dire business. John Kerry’s tax hikes are so criminally despicable that they're synonymous with an alien invasion of earth. What better way to represent this assault than a remake of the classic arcade game, Space Invaders. It’s the end of the world. It’s game over, man - game over!

In all honesty, the use of Space Invaders to invoke a sense of impending doom feels a bit stilted. Furthermore, the game itself just isn’t that fun. It’s too easy to get shot and killed by the taxes’ death-rays, and the game looks just plain awful. The cut-out picture of Bush's head is low-resolution and the taxes are simply represented by rectangular boxes that say "tax" on them. Nor does it make its point. A player could analyze the game and say that the game represents the inevitability of tax increases.

Kerryoke, by contrast, is a sing-along game. (Duh. As in: Kerryoke. As in: Karaoke. Get it?) Its theme song, “The Flips We Flopped,” is set to the tune of “The Way We Were.” With lyrics such as “Scattered issues/At John Kerry photo-ops/Sort of all blend all together/With the flips he flopped,” we’re relatively sure that song-parodist ”Weird Al” Yankovic isn't losing any sleep. The there is an animated John Kerry himself singing along. But with the song as it is, players might be reminded of a third-person voice reminiscent of 1996 presidential candidate Bob Dole, well-known for his odd tendency to refer to himself as "Bob Dole."

The most amazing thing about Kerryoke isn't the monotony of the song, nor the doggerel lyric; it’s the song's use of the term “flip-flop” six times without a single specific reference to what flip Kerry flopped.

If you want another GOP game that does a better job explaining what Republicans believe are the hypocritical turnarounds –check out theFlip-Flop Olympics on George Bush’s website. The game is a trivia quiz in which players gain points by correctly picking out Kerry's "flip-flops." Rather than use a song saying Kerry changes his mind for politics, this game actually does it.

Back to commentary, Lightspin wanted to include some pro-Bush games from the GOP, touting the Bush administration’s successes in rebuilding Iraq, its economy-stimulating tax policies, or its reinvigoration of public education. And while we’re not saying the administration can't make such claims, we simply could not find one game or even a singl> animation that portrayed Bush in a more positive light than the green glow of a laser-beam shooting head. What that means, Lightspeed leaves up to you.

Hilariously underachieving games by the Dems next time. Expect a shorter, even angrier rant.

1 Comments:

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